We Need To Prepare Our Daughters To Defend Themselves


The recent story of the young female college student who lost her life when she got into a car she believed to be an Uber absolutely brought out rage in me.  The fact that a piece of garbage like that, an insignificant piece of crap who should have been aborted in the womb, destroyed the lives of her parents, loved ones and friends is absolutely horrific and unacceptable.  We need to stop sending our daughters out into the world without providing them with the tools to defend themselves.  Martial Arts should be as much a part of education as math and science.  But unlike math and science for most students, the Martial Arts is a lifelong endeavor.

Don’t get me wrong, there are no guarantees but training to defend oneself will at least give someone a fighting chance.  It might have afforded this young woman a chance at saving her life.  There’s much to learn but once proficient, defense is not only possible but probable.  I don’t have a daughter but if I did, she would have been in my dojo from the age of three or four just as both my sons were introduced to the Arts at that age.  Like playing the piano or learning to ski, the earlier you start, the more proficient you become.  It becomes who you are, not what you do.  We created a society where girls played with doll houses and boys play hockey and football. Unfortunately, not much has changed, even in the age of technology and social media.  A girl can be feminine and still kick ass.  Take the most recent Supreme Court nominee and all the back and forth concerning what this young man or another young man did to traumatized her.  Had she removed one of his testicles or an eye, there would be no question as to who it was who had attacked her.

We want women to be equal but then we say not when it comes to protecting yourself?  Women are physically weaker than men and therefore men should be held accountable.  Of course they should but women aren’t and shouldn’t be helpless damsels in distress.  In fact women, if trained properly, women can and should defend themselves from predators.  We can’t expect to end this double standard if we continue to live by the notion that women are indeed helpless victims.  Every women should train in a reputable Art so they can defend themselves no matter who the attacker.  I clearly remember that in the 70’s the word out there on rape was to let it happen and remember as much as you could about the attacker so that the police would have a better chance of catching him.  I hated that logic then and I hate it more now.  One’s life is worth defending and dying for if necessary.  You may not agree with me and that is your right.  But that is who I am and what I believe.  No one has the right to violate you and that person should pay the price of that violation up to and including the cessation of their existence if justified.

At the Bay Ridge Dojo, my Dojo, women fight men in hand to hand combat.  Why wouldn’t they?  They are far more likely to be attacked by a man then by a woman.  Women need to take their safety into their own hands.  There are so many ways to defend ones life if one chooses.  Women can be much tougher than men mentally and given the proper training can take care of business if necessary.  I want to hear more stories about male demise at the hands of women because someone got out of line.  I’m tired of stories of victimized girls and women.  It doesn’t need to be that way.  I started this Blog as a resource for my students.  It now needs to be a call to women to learn a lifelong skill that will not only provide confidence but a life skill that might save a life.  The journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step.

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